❴Read❵ ➪ Emma and the Vampires Author Wayne Josephson – Motyourdrive.co.uk

Emma and the Vampires pdf Emma and the Vampires , ebook Emma and the Vampires , epub Emma and the Vampires , doc Emma and the Vampires , e-pub Emma and the Vampires , Emma and the Vampires 872321988e4 What Better Place Than Pale England To Hide A Secret Society Of Gentlemen Vampires In This Hilarious Retelling Of Jane Austen S Emma, Screenwriter Wayne Josephson Casts Mr Knightley As One Of The Most Handsome And Noble Of The Gentlemen Village Vampires Blithely Unaware Of Their Presence, Emma, Who Imagines She Has A Special Gift For Matchmaking, Attempts To Arrange The Affairs Of Her Social Circle With Delightfully Disastrous Results But When Her Dear Friend Harriet Smith Declares Her Love For Mr Knightley, Emma Realizes She S The One Who Wants To Stay Up All Night With Him Fortunately, Mr Knightley Has Been Hiding A Secret Deep Within His Unbeating Heart His Literal Undying Love For Her A Brilliant Mash Up Of Jane Austen And The Undead


10 thoughts on “Emma and the Vampires

  1. says:

    3.5 starsTake Jane Austen s original novel, Emma , and make all the leading men vampires while Emma and her female companions must decide which vampires and good and which are worth marrying Emma and Harriett even get to put a few stakes through some undead hearts This was my first mash up novel, Jane Austen or otherwise I was a little disappointed in this one just because it wasn t what I was expecting I didn t feel like enough was changed from the original Emma Yes, the men were vampires, but the story followed the exact same plot with all of the exact same scenes, only with a few vampires attacking after dinner parties, etc.However, I read the author s note at the end of the book, and Josephson said that one of his main motives was to make the original Emma accessible to modern readers, especially teens I appreciate his intentions, and I can see why he wanted to stay so close to the original I do think he achieved this goal, because if you had never read Emma before, you really would have a great understanding of the original after reading this book I personally just wanted to see of story inspired by the original, instead of a re write.Mr Robert Martin is my favorite character in the original Emma and I loved the author made lots of mention of the gentle farmer here Robert Martin, the vampire, even throws a cow over his fence in his frustration over Harriet s marriage refusal That alone was worth reading the book, in my opinion Having read the original novel, this book seemed too much of a rehash with not enough new elements However, since the original is much unchanged here, maybe new readers unwilling to try the Austen classic would get a chance to read the story here.an ARC was provided for review by Sourcebooksreviewed for


  2. says:

    Quiz s deberia haber elegido este libro, en vez del otro XD


  3. says:

    I have to say that out of all the mashups I ve read, this is the only one that has left me wondering why the mashup part was even necessary Josephson allegedly wrote this at the request of his teenage daughter It seemed like not much thought was put into what the vampires could do to the story, and the result is a jumbled mess of a watered down version of Emma with a sporadic sprinkling of vampires.Basically, the plot hinges on the general idea for most mashups it s the same as Emma, with vampires thrown in In Josephson s version, all the gentlemen of Highbury are vampires Some are vegans, whose eyes are blue others feast on human blood, which turns their eyes red Those in need of sustenance are black eyed We get hints that Mr Weston is a vegan, Frank Churchill feasts on humans, and that Mr Knightley enjoys a tasty aristocrat every once in a while, but explanation of why each vampire chose that particular path would have been much appreciated.This was my main problem with the work Josephson did not appear to care enough to establish a mythology For convenience s sake, every male is the same age they are in the original Emma, and in this world, vampires can bear children, who inherit the gene from their father This greatly confused me Some of the many questions that entered my mind Did the adult vampires Mr Weston, Mr Knightley, etc inherit this gene or were they turned at that particular age Who would have turned them, since here we are given the impression that vampires turn their brides upon marrying The only grown hereditary vampire that we see is Frank Churchill, who is described as perpetually twenty three I understand that this was in keeping with his age in the original, but it just led to questions Do hereditary vampires simply grow up and stop aging at a particular point Why, then, are some vampires older than others Why does Mr George Knightley have the ability to read minds and Mr John Knightley have the ability to predict the future, whereas Mr Weston and Frank, for example, are not possessed of any particular abilities Mrs Weston and Mrs Elton are told that their husbands are vampires, but Emma and the rest of the town, while entirely aware of their male neighbors strange habits, are completely in the dark about this Is it some ironclad rule that no one except vampire wives can know the secret If it is a rule, then why did it come into existence See what I mean Josephson added the vampires, but he did not offer one iota of mythology behind his take on it, which was extremely irritating If you re going to add the monsters, you re going to have to give me some kind of explanation about what they can do, how they came to be, and what they can bring to this particular story.And in this case, the vampires did not bring anything at all Every time there was a remark about a beating heart, a vampire would silently reflect on his own heart not beating From my recollection, there were maybe four or five party scenes Each party scene ended with the participants emerging into the night and oh, no, a vampire attack And oh, look, they re attacking Harriet Keep in mind, this is done at least three times Why is Harriet so special The only explanation we are given is that she is plump No freesia scented extra special Twilight blood here The vampires just like Harriet because she s chubby In fact, there was no vampire threat to any of the other main characters but Harriet, and combined with the easy defeat of the rogue vampires in all the battle scenes, this makes for one boring vampire book.Josephson felt the need to water down Austen s prose, cutting where he pleased and simplifying the phrases he felt modern young adult readers wouldn t understand this is very much meant to be a YA novel I was rather appalled by the inclusion of the phrases thunderous thighs and Mamma s boy Really Thunderous thighs In Clueless, maybe, but not in something that purports to be the actual Emma Some of the abridgments made sense but then would lead to confusion to a reader not familiar with the original Mrs Elton s tireless raving about Maple Grove is cut, but she mentions it twice later on, and nothing is done to explain about where that is or what it means to Mrs Elton There isn t much of a context that a reader could place it in, either, given that the context was removed and not restored in this abridgement.The thing was, I never truly felt that the vampires were necessary to the story Emma itself was so watered down that it started feeling unnecessary towards the end By the time we got to Box Hill, I was wondering why he d even bothered putting the vampires in they don t effect the pivotal events of the story Josephson only seemed to throw them in after the characters left a party He was basically just retelling Emma and adding action for no particular reason I feel the book should have gone one way or the other either Josephson should have produced an abridged version of Emma, sans vampires, or he should have written his own Regency era vampire novel, where he would have had plenty of space to expound upon the mythology of his vampires that was not even hinted at here But of course, that leaves one without the safety net of a built in network of readers.Overall, this is one of the poorly done mashups I ve read, and I feel as though Mr Josephson would have better served Emma by doing a strict abridgment he managed to keep the spirit of Emma throughout, and if only there hadn t been vampires, it would have been a perfectly serviceable abridgment about on par with the level of cuts you d see in a typical movie version From the ending and the cover touting this as a Jane Austen Undead novel, I can only assume in this series are coming down the pike If someone in your family is into vampire fiction but not Austen and you would like to introduce her to Jane, I would give this one a weak recommendation, with the caveat emptor that if she can understand this version, she might as well give the original Emma a shot.


  4. says:

    Because it was my first Jane Austen mash up novel, I wanted to love Emma and the Vampires I really did But try as I might, Wayne Josephson s adaptation of Austen s Emma fell short of expectations With the emergence of books like Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, it seemed only natural to take the title heroine from Emma and pair her up with the vampire gentlemen of Highbury.And here s the thing almost every man in Highbury is a vampire, save for Emma Woodhouse s sweet father, Mr Woodhouse I mean, really And the inclusion of vampires didn t flow as naturally as I would have liked for a mash up For example, a sentence might read, Mr Weston s son, Frank Churchill was coming to town Naturally, he was a vampire with a pallid complexion and a taste for human blood Random lines inserted into the witty matchmaking plot of Emma do not a good vampire mash up novel make.Because Emma Woodhouse is such a terrible matchmaker, Emma and the Vampires has such promise for hilarity Just imagine poor Emma hooking up her unsuspecting female friends with vampires While the book did garner a chuckle from this reader here and there I love how she uses a fashionable ribbon to tie a stake to her leg , I found myself enjoying the plot of Emma for its original integrity I just had to put up with silly vampire references here and there Instead of enhancing the beloved novel, Emma and the Vampires spliced up a great plot to make it just average.


  5. says:

    For anyone who followed my Pride and Prejudice and Zombies review, I said I d pick this one up in the hopes that it would be less graphic And it was No disappointment there Hilarious Check How can it not be when darling Emma Woodhouse and her plump sweet friend Harriet Smith are vampire killers that drive wooden stakes wrapped around their thighs by silk ribbons into fanged beasts in between teatime and girlish gossip Edward and Jacob meet your match es in Mr Knightley, Mr Elton, and Mr Churchill very suave, pale, ebony eyed vampires indeed The classism references are not undead in this 2010 version bad pun, sorry Because the bad vampires are the wild ones, whereas no one would ever dream of even suspecting that the gentlemen above would like nothing better than to bite into the pale lovely necks of their English lady friends So, why the three stars Because there s no three and a half I guess it s the ADDd second grader in me, but if a book loses my interest by a certain point, it loses stars Emma and the Vampires started off with a bang, but halfway through the book, the prose and dialogue dragged for a good hundred pages before it picked up again All in all A recommend.


  6. says:

    Pros This was my first vamp book besides Dracula , and I was pleasantly surprised It had me laughing at a lot of sections where Emma says and does the oddest things She has this unique ability to stay completely clueless yet manages to get things done.I got two positive thoughts while reading this book The first being, that while late to the party, I may want to give vamp books a second look The second is a need to read the original Emma I m not a big fan of reading classics so that s a plus.Cons While the clueless ness of Emma was funny to read, it also bothered me a bit Along with the rest of the town, it appears people know their friends don t like sunlight or even eat, yet don t even question it Emma s own father knows there is something odd about his older daughter s husband, but really doesn t see the need to examine it further He is just happy he doesn t have to worry about people eating his food Once I finished reading the book I did feel some sense of enjoyment and satisfaction However I had a bigger pull to read the original book While this is certainly a great connection, I feel as if this book should be able to stand on its own.


  7. says:

    I ve never read the original Emma but I should hope it s not as weak as this offering I trudged through this book for almost a month and should have given up on it long before then Unfortunately, I m a tad too stubborn and was rewarded with nonsensical vegan vampires, with no explanation on how they came to be, and a story with holes than a donut convention I didn t like the book cover either Why the frick does the vampire have a smirk on his face Having just had his head cut off shouldn t he have had a look of anguish or horror And as the head is the heaviest part of the body how is Emma holding it when her hand appears to be relaxed and she s barely grabbing the hair The synopsis describes Emma and the Vampires as being hilarious and yet I never even broke into a smile At times it read like the plot to a cheesy slasher horror movie, where the college students always end up going out in the dark alone even though they know there s a killer about, as there were many instances where the characters would leave a gathering at night only to be confronted with the evil vampires attacking them Why did they not just hold their get together during the day and save themselves the trouble Besides, the evil vampires sucked yeah, pun intended anyway and always got their butts kicked so what use is the evil in the book when it never prevails over good in any way There s no suspense involved when, for the upteenth time, the nocturnal vampires get beaten yet again and so they re of a hindrance than any real threat in this novel Heck, they need not have been in this novel at all for all the use they were Albeit a tad bit late I should mention that all men are vampires in this novel, good and evil, and Emma is trying to match up her friends with the good ones because that s obviously funny, right About as funny as being staked in the groin over and over I m not wasting any words on this drivel and would have entered it into my Hall of Shame except I felt sorry for Austen having her name associated with this heinous bookand I don t even like Austen Horrible, horrible read.


  8. says:

    I am a fan of the recent trend of paranormal classic mash ups and Emma is my favorite novel by Jane Austen Being that I ve enjoyed every recreation of Emma that I ve ever read or seen including the movie Clueless , I had high hopes for Emma and the Vampires Unfortunately, this retelling didn t come close to my expectations.The thing about Emma is she believes herself to be a bit observant than she actually is That transfers into this version perfectly The problem is that while Emma may completely miss obvious things, the other townswomen aren t as blind to the things going on around them In Emma and the Vampires, almost all of the gentlemen are vampires, yet not one of the women has the slightest inclination Everyone is aware that vampires are real They know the tell tale traits a vampire possess, yet when seeing that the men don t go out in sunlight, don t eat solid food, are pale with either black and can have red eyes, the women don t even wonder about the men who these things describe perfectly The women even go so far as to mention the gentlemen s fangs and still they haven t a clue It went well beyond the fun Austen was poking It seemed as though the point of the story was that all women were stupid, unobservant twits.Emma and the Vampires had some good points that shouldn t be overlooked First off, it s Emma, so that automatically brings something good to the table There is a unofficial brigade of vampire fighters that forms in response to the rogue vampires lurking about which leads to some interesting fight scenes And of course, by reading this book, people may be willing to give the original version of Emma a try and and anything that gets readers excited about the classics is definitely worthwhile.Emma and the Vampires made Jane Austen s Emma different, but not exactly better A truly great mash up should enhance the original book, infusing it with an extra angle that might even give the original a deeper meaning or message Emma and the Vampires isn t anything than Emma with, well, some vampires.


  9. says:

    I know that some do not like these mashups, but I think they are so funny The things I love the most are the things I like to see changed or made fun of This totally works for me And you all know I love things Austen by now.Most of you surely know Emma, the pretty spoiled lady who suddenly realizes that she is a great matchmaker, and of course she isn t and that leads to a string of fun misunderstandings And this book follows that plot, it follows Emma as it should, with a few exceptionsThere are vampires around and in Highbury there are a few gentlemen vampires The rest seems to be blissfully aware even though these men have black eyes, red eyes, never eat or sleeps and are really pale Mr Knightley is one of these gentlemen, as is Mr Elton and Mr Weston But there are also wild vampires around, and Emma who carries a stake is not a bad vampire killer when attacked Mr Knightley is also very handy with a sabre, cos yes he and the rest chops a few heads when attacked A real gentlemen does not attack a lady without being asked.Vampires works so well here because he keeps it witty and a comedy of manners The book is hilarious and sure Emma may not be the best heroine but she does have a good heart and means well Harriett is a vampiremagnet with her bosom and neck, Mr Knightley as knightley as ever, Emma s dad just as he always is, and Frank Churchill, a coward, for a vampire.For readers who wants to read something nice, I would recommend this For readers who love mash ups, don t forget this one, and for those that haven t try one, just plunge in, and don t be horrified that Austen s works are being turned into something else I am pretty sure she would have gotten a few laughs from it too.Final thoughts The only thing I didn t like was the end, it left me a bit, what, and then


  10. says:

    Open Jane Austen s book, insert lots of plot holes and major inconsistencies, make all the characters really stupid as in mentally challenged , add your name to the cover, and make money off of it I give you, Emma and the Vampires.


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